Tuesday, May 22, 2012

a series of UNFORTUNATE events

We haven’t gotten around to having our mail forwarded to our new home. I realize that it is as simple as a trip to the post office and some flicks of a pen. My excuse is that I have two babies. It’s my excuse for everything but people accept it so I continue to use it. Anyways, the reason this is even relevant is because we have a lot of important documents being sent to an address 7 hours away from us, including our proof of name change, bills(now late bills), and proof of insurance.

The day started off like any other. I had a miserable time trying to fall asleep, I finally did and five minutes later it was 5 am; my husband jumps out of bed like a particularly clumsy rhino without an equilibrium in an extraordinarily small and extremely cluttered china shop so forget the extra half an hour of sleep I could have enjoyed, I was also awake. My husband asks me to throw on the coffee so I run down pour in the water, dump in the grinds and slug into the shower.

Its quarter of 6.

We say our goodbyes, trying to be positive because positivity from the beginning leads to a positive day! Of course we wait until 3 minutes before my husband must absolutely zip out for PT only to realize I never hit start on the coffee maker. (UNFORTUNATE EVENT 1) So my husband leaves unhappy.

Now my husband is an excellent athlete. He’s cooperative, polite, and very upstanding. He is the most competitive person I know and not only with others, with himself. If he runs a 5 minute mile he MUST beat his time the next run. In fact, he scored a 326 on the extended PT scale, which for anyone unfamiliar with PT scoring- IS AMAZING (most people score somewhere between 280-290 and the general scale only goes up to 300)! So you can imagine I was surprised to hear that he gets ‘smoked’ every single day; but it’s MY husband, if we didn’t have bad luck we wouldn’t have any luck at all! So, like every other day my husband got ‘smoked’. This time it was for dirty ACU’s.

Sgt: “Why are your ACU’s dirty private!?”

Tater (my husband): “Cause I’m always getting ‘smoked’ Sgt!”

Sgt: “Roger that! Now climb the f’in mountain!”

Seredipity~ I am truly sorry he always gets smoked… but I’m sure he felt just a little bit sly coming back with a quirky remark like that!


I felt like this day hadn’t been particularly great so I decided to surprise my husband with a meal truly fit for a soldier (and one of his favorites!) shrimp/mozzarella stuffed potatoes! It takes about an hour and a half- two hours to prep and complete so I began it around 3:45. About an hour later I woke up from a nap both the kiddos and I NEEDED to the sound of a screeching fire alarm and the smell of nasty burnt to a crisp shrimp. Scratch that idea, we weren’t having stuffed potato. Regrettably the smoke detector didn’t get the memo about the shrimp already being outside in the dumpster because it continued to holler for another 15 minutes until I finally found the off button. Now everyone was awake! Since it was nearing 5 o’clock and my husband would be home from work soon I threw some hotdogs in a pan and peas in the microwave. Mediocre meal for a mediocre day. (UNFORTUNATE EVENT 3)

5 o’clock came and went, 6 p.m. reared her ugly head and my husband still wasn’t home. I tried his cell, but it was off. Probably at the gym? Or getting ‘smoked’? It was about 6:30 when I started to worry. Usually if he’s going to stay after or hit the gym after a long day he would at least shoot me a text… so I was frantic for the next 45 minutes. Actually more pissed that frantic! I was actually kind of relieved that my gourmet dinner had met flames because I REALLY would have been mad if I had prepared such an extravagant meal only to eat it by myself. 7:15 rolls around and there’s a rattle on the door: my husband! Since our proof of insurance was sitting in Maryland my husband had spent the last couple of hours trying desperately to have it faxed over to barracks and then eventually just walked home. (UNFORTUNATE EVENT 4)

Needless to say we went to bed pretty early that night.

Not every day is a bad day, but when we do have a bad day, we walk home from work.

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