Monday, May 14, 2012

The Cornerstone of the Military Marriage

I think a lot of military wives at some point or another probably question whether they are strong enough to endure the active service spouse’s lifestyle. Without a doubt it is the most trivial, patience-testing life choice a family can make. The truest words of wisdom came from my husband’s recruiter’s wife, “The army is hard but the hardest job in the army is the army wife.”  Every day is a test of loyalty, of stamina, of emotional, mental, and physical strength. Deployment is not the only thievery. Our husbands devote countless nights to CQ duties, weekend-long trainings, week-long trainings, month long trainings, specialty schools 1-3 months on end, odd hours, undependable schedules; it’s truly a wonder the military mother should have a life at all outside of just that.

So what makes this worth the while?

My husband completed basic from October 4th through February 3rd. He had a scheduled “Christmas exodus” break beginning on December 15th. I was home alone with our 18 month old daughter and expecting a son on December 5th. Our goal was to try and hold off on the delivery until the day my husband came home for block leave. Now as any biological mother would know, this is not in the hands of the mother. If the baby is coming, they are coming regardless of what you had planned.  Unseasoned to the world of military and the “chain of command” I called EVERYONE trying to reach my husband. I could not for the life of me figure out why the company commander would not return my phone calls. Eventually, I was able to get through to a MILITARY ONE consultant who by the hands of God and probably consequently a smoking for my husband, was able to reach on of the Sergeants in my husband’s company. The Drill Sargent was able to relay the message to my husband that the baby would be induced on the 9th due to complications. Apparently they had been getting my devote messages but paying them no mind as the drill sergeant remarked before hanging up, “Ma’am if your husband is half as persistent and determined as you, he will have no problem finding success here.”

 Sure enough, my husband was able to call on the day of induction, once in the morning shortly after I arrived to the hospital for induction and once at 2 pm when I was about 2 cm dilated. As luck always has it, his phone was flying off its rocker that day. So the final call I got was around 7pm. I picked up the phone to hear the voice of the drill sergeant himself informing me that my husband’s phone was acting up and that he would be using his phone instead. It was as if something clicked in our baby’s head because as soon as I received that call, after 12 hours of labor, I had the urge to push. I can assured you no wife has ever demanded so much from her husband’s drill sergeant as I did that day and he was certainly quick to pass over the phone.  I informed my husband I needed to push and promised I would call as soon as I had a healthy little boy in my arms. 25 minutes later a beautiful baby boy was swaddled in my arms and an impatient husband who so honorably missed the birth of his first born son was on the phone. That was most definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do alone. But 7 days later the tearful reunion between my husband, myself and our daughter and the introduction of a father to his son was so powerful. It was then that I realized the cornerstone of every marriage. It’s the moments spent together, the reunions, and the sacrifice for one another that make it all worth the while. The wives, in fact the marriages of the military are strong and undying, devoted, thirsty LOVE is the cornerstone.

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